


Just Going Through The Motions

by Raelae



Series: Tales From The Apocalypse [3]
Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 18:14:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9561029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raelae/pseuds/Raelae
Summary: It's the very early stages of the outbreak, and Joel and Tommy have managed to both find their way to a QZ, and escape it. Now they wander the hellish outside world, struggling to survive the infected, other people, and each other. Welcome to the Apocalypse.





	

Tommy opened the door carefully with one hand, his other wrapped around his older brother as he tried to keep him on his feet.

He slowly swung the door open, scanning the room quickly before stepping inside. The house was quiet, like most houses were now, the family long since having abandoned it, or at least he hoped they had. It was night now, making the house very dark inside and giving anyone, or anything, quite a few places to hide.

Taking a deep breath, he closed the door as quietly as he had opened it before making his way across the front room and towards the couch, stopping there to carefully deposit his brother on it. He stood for a moment, staring down at his motionless brother before making his way off towards the kitchen.

The room was a mess, cupboard doors were flung open with whatever might have been inside now gone. More than likely the family had grabbed what food they could in a hurry before bugging out, or at least someone had. Each abandoned house now held it's own story, each tragic in it's own way. The family here could have escaped and made it to the QZ, or they could have fallen victim to the many frenzied survivors, already stealing from others only mere hours after the evacuation order was given. They could be lying dead somewhere in the house, or worse...lying in wait. He could only hope that if they were still somewhere in the house, that they were human and not infected.

Not wanting to take the risk, he dug around through the doors till he found a rather large kitchen knife. He gripped it tightly as he steeled himself for the moment to come. He was going to have to clear the house, make sure it was safe for him and his brother to hide out in.

He glanced around the kitchen again, finding only the one door that lead to the back of the house, and another that he could only assume was either the basement door or a pantry. He let out a long breath as he made his way towards it, gripping the handle and keeping it there for a moment before yanking it open.

It was indeed a pantry, a rather destroyed one. What couldn't be carried was scattered about on the floor leaving more than a few piles of canned goods and some boxes. Rice lay across the floor like snow after the boxes had been crushed and broken open. Well, at least they had food. Maybe no one had gotten to this house yet and the family had been the one to clear it out. You could never really be sure so he'd continue to take every precaution possible until he was sure the house was clear.

Leaving the pantry for now, he moved over to the sit in kitchen area, picking one of the overturned chairs up and walking over to the back door. He leaned it so the back was under the doorknob, an extra precaution just in case. He made sure it was also locked before walking back out of the kitchen, glancing towards where his brother still sat on the couch.

It had been a month since that dreadful night, a whole month of nightmares on both their parts. Joel had talked little since then. For a while they stayed at the area QZ, Joel unable to do much of anything since he had slipped into a deep shock. He stayed in the triage the entire time, his only reactions being when families would come into the massive tent. Sometimes he would bury his head under his pillow if grieving families came in, other times he looked about ready to murder if whole families came in. It was like he resented them for still being together, when he had lost his daughter. More than a few times Tommy had to try to calm him down as his blood pressure sky rocketed.

But one day, he just fell completely silent, not even saying a word to Tommy. During this time it still was unclear exactly how the infection worked, so anyone that was acting out of the ordinary in any way was targeted, causing massive brawls to break out within the QZ. Joel had been targeted more than once. It was like everyone became feral, their logical senses long disappearing. It was like no one knew what shock looked like anymore.

The brawls kept the soldiers and FEDRA staff busy, so when the clues appeared...no one saw them. A fairly large group of people turned, people that had not been bitten. With the ensuing brawls, everyone mistook them for other rioters...until the biting started. The entire QZ turned into a mess of confusion, people running here and there screaming. With all the running and screaming the soldiers couldn't discern friendly from infected, and soon FEDRA agents ordered them to open up on everyone. There was hesitation of course but, out of fear of a massive outbreak in the QZ, the soldiers complied. They started shooting everyone.

Tommy had barely avoided the bullets that whizzed by him as he made a mad dash back towards the medical tent, desperate to get to his brother.

When he got there the place was a mess, people were running about in a panic, patient and doctor alike lay dead on the ground. At first he thought the infected had torn through here already too, but that wasn't the case. He could see stab wounds, bruising from beatings. Survivors were frantic to escape, and they had started stealing supplies. The doctors must have tried to stop them, and were subsequently killed. The patients either got in the way or were killed out of fear they too were infected. Either way, it was a bloodbath and he couldn't stay there very much longer.

He had run towards the far end of the triage where Joel was, relieved to find he was still there, and safe. He tried to get him up but Joel refused, using his mass to fight back against Tommy's attempts. But, eventually Tommy prevailed as Joel grew tired, and he pulled him from the bed. They had barely made it out of the triage alive. When Tommy looked back, all he saw was flames rising high into the sky, the screams of fear pursuing him as he escaped with Joel.

That had been three days ago, three days of sneaking and fighting with his own brother. Joel had still not uttered even a single word, but he still fought hard against his brothers attempts at saving his life. He just wanted to be left to die. But thanks to Joel's state, he could only struggle for so long before his body would shut down, and he was at Tommy's mercy.

And so, here they were, and still nothing changed. Joel hadn't moved an inch since Tommy left him, he just sat and stared at the floor. For the longest time it didn't even look like he'd so much as blink. But he did, slow and methodical, and it was the only form of motion his body was doing.

Tommy only shook his head, moving towards the stairs that were positioned by the front door. He slowly put one foot in front of the other, cringing as one of the steps creaked loudly in the silence. It sounded like multiple people scraping their fingers along a chalkboard. But after a few moments of nothing happening, Tommy continued on up the stairs.

At the landing there were two directions he could go, one to his left which lead to a dead end with a window and a door to the left of it. To his right was a longer hallway with three other doors, each lay wide open.

He went to the left first, as there was less to check and hopefully it would give him time to calm his nerves. When he reached the door, he opened it slowly. Inside was a fairly normal sized bathroom. It had a single sink, a wooden cabinet built in next to it, and of course the toilet and shower/tub combo. The curtains on the tub were drawn though, and every horror movie cliché passed through his mind at this moment.

He raised his knife, ready to stab if need be as he slowly made his way towards the tub. He gripped the curtain, muttering to himself as he hesitated, before just yanking it aside. Nothing lay inside. No ghost looking up at him in bloody water, moaning in a terrifying way. No monster laying in wait to tear his throat out, nothing. Though he'd take the ghost over the monsters any day, cause now the monsters were real.

“Fucking hell...”

He ran a hand over his face before exiting the bathroom, slowly making his way down the hall. Each of the three rooms were children's rooms of various ages, and each were in the same common state of disarray. Whatever clothing that wasn't grabbed was laid discarded on the floor, blankets thrown to the floor as, more than likely, the kids were rushed out of bed in a hurry. Closet doors lay flung open and dresser drawers even thrown to the floor. It was a seen of terror, but at least it yielded them no danger. So he returned to the stairs, making his way back down and avoiding the squeaky steps this time.

As he returned to the front room, he saw Joel still there, still in the same position he had left him in. He was starting to wonder if Joel would ever recover, and if he didn't, just what would that mean for them? He couldn't keep dragging him around, that'd get them both killed, but he sure as hell wasn't going to leave him behind either.

He chose not to worry about it for now. They were in a house that had a good stock pile of food, comfy beds, roof over their head. And the house was on the outskirts of a suburban area, right on the edge of city and country. If they needed to bail for any reason a field was right there, they could disappear into the tall grass. So for now he'd finish clearing the house then go about barricading everything. After that he'd figure out what to do next.

So again he left his brother to whatever thoughts were going through his mind, which he was pretty sure he knew what they were, and continued to a hallway just off the living room. He found a small office back there which also proved to be messy and empty. A safe stood wide open and papers littered the floor and even the desk. They must have decided to take all their important papers too, thinking they might just return one day or that this whole outbreak thing was gonna get figured out quickly, and they didn't want their personal information in others hands.

Tommy was pretty certain the world would not return to normal any time soon, if ever. So he saw the attempt a critical waste of time.

He moved further down the hall, finding a laundry room, the only untouched room in the house, and the master bedroom and bath. Both were empty and equally disheveled. He also checked the walk in closet, finding nothing in there but yet another mess, like a tornado ran through it. Feeling a little more at ease now, he made his way back down the hallway, happy to find the house uninhabited.

Next he went about making sure the doors were well barricaded before trying to find anything else he could use for protection. The knife was all well and good but, wasn't good at a distance. With another search of the house he found two handguns though, one a 9mm in a lock box under the parents bed, and the other a revolver strapped in one of the drawers of the desk in the office. Both had a box of ammo so, for a bit at least, they had protection. He kept the guns on him of course, not trusting Joel as he went about digging up some of the food.

After about an hour he settled down in the front room with Joel, setting a plate each of baked beans, rice, and some spam he had scrounged up on the coffee table. 

“...Joel, hey, you gotta eat.”

Joel said nothing, nor did he look at him. He just continued to stare at the floor.

“...goddammit Joel, you can't go on like this forever. Shes gone, I hate saying it but she is, and you have got to get out of this hole you've dug for yourself or you ain't gonna make it.”

Still Joel said nothing, but his brow did twitch a bit. Tommy only sighed and picked up one of the plates and started digging into the beans.

“...Tommy...I love you little brother but, if you mention her again...I'm gonna beat your face in...”

Tommy stopped with the spoon halfway to his mouth, torn between shock that his brother finally spoke, and unease at hearing the tone of his brothers voice when he said that. It sounded like he truly meant it.

“...least you said something.”

“I never asked you to take me out of there. You should have left me Tommy.”

“...are you out of your fucking mind? Do you honestly think I would have left you back there?”

“You should have.”

“Christ...” He chucked the plate down on the coffee table, getting to his feet. “Don't you ever say shit like that to me again, you hear? There is no way in hell I would ever leave you to die like that, or let you do it yourself, since I know you're thinking it.”

“Not your choice Tommy.”

“Not my...I'm your fucking brother! If this was reversed and I was saying this to you would you leave me behind? Would you let me pop myself off?”

“...”

“I...Jesus, I'm gonna have to babysit you aren't I? Don't answer that, I know what you're gonna say. Look...you are alive for a reason, maybe it's something you won't understand for a real long time but, you were meant to live.”

“And what? Sarah was meant to die? Is that what you're trying to tell me? That she got put here just to be taken away before she had a chance to accomplish anything? She was twelve years old! She never even got a chance to live!”

“...would you want her to live through this?”

Joel scowled and got to his feet, grabbing Tommy by his collar and swinging him around to slam him against the wall next to the couch.

“What the fuck did you just say!?”

“I didn't mean it like that Joel, I'm just saying think about it. It ain't gonna just be the infected people, normal people are gonna be out there, stealing and killing...raping...this world isn't safe anymore...”

“And what? You saying I couldn't have protected my little girl!?”

“You know damn well that isn't what I meant! I want her to still be here as much as you do! But shes not! Shes gone! But it's nothing you did wrong, the fucking soldier took her, remember! Quit blaming yourself!” 

“...I'm her father...I was supposed to do everything in my power to keep her safe...I failed her.”

“No one could have expected something like this was gonna happen Joel...there are things that are out of our control.”

“...it shoulda' been me...”

“...well it wasn't...and now you have to learn to live again. It's what she would have wanted.”

For the longest time Joel just stared at him, hands still gripped at his little brothers collar. He understood what he was saying, he did, but he couldn't accept it. For a month he ran that scenario through his mind over and over again, trying to figure what he could have done differently. Maybe if he'd been quicker to turn around, he could have shielded her from the bullets, though he still wondered how they all missed him.

He wondered if he should have tried harder to convince the soldier not to shoot, playing on the possibility that maybe he had a kid of his own. He had seemed hesitant at first about shooting a child, although anyone with even a tiny scrap of morality should always think twice about harming a child.

No matter how many times he replayed it, or what he figured he could have done differently, none of it seemed plausible. In the end she would still be gone, and he would be forced to live on. Though in the end the only one forcing him was Tommy.

Finally though, he let his brother go, letting out a shaky sigh as he returned to the couch.

“...we have to stick together Joel...we're all we have now...”

This caused Joel to look up at him again.

“...we both know...we both know mom and dad are probably gone...we can go check of course, to be sure. See if there's a note or something but...think we both know the truth. It's just you and me...I can't lose my brother too...”

“...I can't make you any promises Tommy...”

“Just try...for me...”

“I...” 

He stopped talking as he heard a heavy thud from above them. Both went quiet, listening. Nothing more was heard though and they started to think maybe it was the house settling...until there was another thud.

“...you cleared the whole house right?”

“Course I did.”

“Every room?”

“Dammit Joel, yes.”

“...attic?”

“...didn't see one.”

“Did you check the ceiling in the closets...”

“...shhhhiiiit.”

The thudding turned to thundering feet and both brothers realized they were in deep trouble. Tommy pulled out the 9mm, tossing his brother the revolver, and both waited with guns aimed as the thundering neared.

Soon two infected came almost stumbling down the stairs. Both brothers were able to dispatch them quickly, but further thudding told them there was more.

“How many fucking people were in this house?”

“Looked to me like they all got out.”

“Well it looks to me they didn't!”

“Well I checked alright!? Wasn't even a window in sight to show there was an attic!”

“Yet you found guns and ammo still in the house, and didn't once wonder why!?”

“I...I didn't think about it...”

“There's still guns cause no one got out...”

“We don't have time for this Joel...”

Joel fired again as another infected came plowing down the stairs, cringing when he realized it was a teenage boy. Poor kid couldn't have been more than sixteen.

“...we gotta haul ass.”

Tommy didn't argue as he followed his brother into the kitchen, the screams emanating from above them.

Joel quickly kicked the chair away from where Tommy had placed it and yanked the door open, doing so just as the other infected had made their way down the stairs.

“Move it!” He yelled as he shoved his younger brother forward, following quickly behind.

“Do we make for the field!?”

“Not sure that's a great idea. We could lose each other in there, and lose sight of them things. Even with the screaming it'd still be hard to find them till they were right on us.”

“What do we do then? We can't just run out in the open.”

“Lets check the garage, car could be in there still if no one stole it.”

Tommy nodded and followed, firing behind him as one of the infected stumbled out the back door.

Joel kicked the door of the garage in, feeling a slight bit of relief as he noticed a truck still parked there. Tommy shared in his relief as he entered, his face showing every bit of it. But they still weren't out of the woods, not if they couldn't get it started up. Neither of them knew how to hot wire a vehicle, so if there were no keys in sight then their relief would be short lived.

“Hurry it up Joel!”

“I'm fucking trying! Just keep them out of here!”

Tommy fired out the door a couple of times, taking out a few more infected while Joel smashed the truck window in.

“How many of those fuckers were in the house!?” Joel yelled as he climbed in, searching the truck.

“Don't think these ones are from the house! Think the other infected in the area are responding to the gunfire!”

“That's all we need right now...”

He continued to dig around while Tommy popped off shots behind him. Already twice now he heard him curse as he had to try to reload the clip quickly. Any longer and they would get overrun.

Finally he came up with the spare set of keys, finding them in a hidden pocket under the drivers seat.

“Got them! Lets get the fuck out of here!”

Tommy complied quickly, moving around and jumping in the passenger side once Joel unlocked it.

“Hope we got enough gas.”

“Just hope it fucking starts...”

He tried the ignition a few times, holding his breath as the engine refused to turn over. But finally after enough attempts, and pumping the peddle to get gas in, the truck roared to life. He wasted no more time after that as he shifted it into drive and slammed on the gas. They flew out of the garage, taking out four infected in the process.

Joel turned the truck sharply, the tires squealing as they skidded across the pavement before finding traction. He drove them quickly out of town, the last sight they saw behind them the mass of pissed off infected disappearing into the darkness.

“Well...that could have ended worse...”

“It almost did.”

“Look, I'm sorry alright? It's Texas man, not every house has a basement or an attic. I just didn't think to look.”

“Forget about it, we made it out.”

“...so now what? We got no supplies, limited ammo...and by the looks of it we'll need gas soon.”

“We'll hit up a station in a smaller town, I don't trust the big cities. And at least...well there will be gas for a little while, no way it's used up yet. We'll hit a station, fill up on gas and whatever else we need...and we'll go from there.”

“...how long can we do this? We don't know how long this is gonna go on.”

“We'll do it for as long as we have to...or can.”

“How could this happen...I mean...they knew something was going on.”

“Not sure they thought it would come to this. I mean...dumb fungus was only supposed to infect fucking bugs right?”

“Well, fungus decided otherwise I guess...”

Joel only shook his head, keeping his attention to the road ahead.

For the longest time neither brother talked. Both had a million thoughts racing through their minds but neither wanting to talk about any of it. And both were exhausted, but neither really felt like they'd sleep anytime soon.

Joel knew nothing would ever be the same again, including himself. He could already feel the changes in him, the willingness to take out anyone or anything that got in his way. It was odd really. He was so angry about being the one who was still alive, but still he had the urge to push forward. Natural survival instinct he supposed. The body was designed to survive by any means necessary. But it could only do so much against a person who really didn't want to survive.

He knew he would have to though, for his brothers sake, but he wasn't sure that logic would forever hold. He'd already been willing to die, not even thinking for a moment about what effect it would have on his brother. But he was still hurting, the wound still so fresh that it continued to fester. He'd been through so much as it was, going through so much to make Sarah's life a happy one, even after her mother was no longer a part of their lives. He did everything, sacrificed every thing he may have wanted in life, for his daughters own good. And in the end...it wasn't a good enough attempt to save her.

And in that moment the thought ran through his mind, the one Tommy had brought up back at that house. Would he want her to live through this hell?

He shook his head, becoming overly angry with himself for even thinking about it. It would be hard yes, but no father would wish such a thing of their child. No good father anyway. He would have found a way to keep her going. He would have tore anyone limb from limb if they tried to harm her in any way. She would have been taught every thing he could think of so she would have the means to survive even after he was gone. The thought of what that entailed disturbed him greatly, as he knew that meant he would no doubt have to teach her to kill without hesitation, but he knew it would have been necessary.

But all that was just thought now. What if's that never would be. 

“...Joel?”

He glanced over at his brother for a moment before returning his eyes to the road, scowling as he did so.

“Our lives are about to become a living hell little brother. We think it's bad now...but this is just the tip of it all. It's gonna get a whole lot worse. We have to be prepared to do whatever is needed to survive...”

“We've both killed already...”

“We'll both being killing a whole lot more in the days to come...better start getting use to it...”

And that was it for the rest of the trip. Neither said another word even when they reached the gas station, nor did they when they killed the horde of infected that swamped them...or the other survivors that tried to steal the food they had gathered. The only response was the look Tommy gave Joel when he beat one of the men's head in with a crowbar. It was obvious how this would go. Joel would be the relentless one, the one who could kill and think nothing more of it. Tommy would always find a way around it if he could, and still feel even if he had no choice. Joel knew at some point this would most likely cause a rift between them. But for now...it was a necessary evil. Necessary, but also a ticking time bomb.

With all this looming over them, they continued on even as the dawning of a new day appeared on the horizon, both wondering what this day would bring for them. Their true hell...was just beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't do enough with these two alone, and I wanted to cover something about their life just after the outbreak. So here's a little brotherly time...even if they are at each others throats.


End file.
